


Family She Deserves

by Haven_Duck



Category: Dead To Me (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Domestic Violence, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Eventual Romance, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Physical Abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-15
Updated: 2020-07-04
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:49:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 18,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24735673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Haven_Duck/pseuds/Haven_Duck
Summary: An alternative narrative to the last episode at the end of series one..
Relationships: Judy Hale/Jen Harding
Comments: 34
Kudos: 158





	1. Chapter 1

“You can die.” 

The words kept on repeating over and over in Judy’s head like some kind of sick joke. The expression on Jen’s face ingrained into her mind as the confession had come tumbling from her mouth, a look so cold she could barely manage to look the women in the eye any longer. 

Judy had witnessed Jen’s moments of sheer rage and anger, had been there to witness the older woman's outbursts and yet the response to her confession was almost deathly calm. Part of Judy wished the blonde would have screamed at her, had some kind of reaction but the words aimed her way were like a dagger to the heart. They hit right where it hurt. 

The pain was unlike anything she had experienced before. It was inevitable, unable to stop herself from letting Jen take on the burden of Ted's death she let the words tumble from her mouth and had lost her family. There was nothing else to live for. Steve hated her, her dreams of motherhood were over and now she had lost the most important people in her life because she was too cowardly to stand up to her fiancé and possibly save Ted. 

Glancing up from Ted’s memorial she watched as a car drove by, the same stretch of road that not too long ago she had driven down and ran down Jen’s husband. The thought only made her tears fall faster, the alcohol she had been drinking all day doing nothing to numb the pain she felt inside no matter how much she had drunk. 

Slowly getting up to her feet, Judy took a deep breath trying to steady herself before tentatively talking a step onto the road. Closing her eyes as she watched a car come around the corner she let her feet carry on into the path of the car. 

The sound of screeching tyres and the smell of burning rubber was not what Judy expected. Opening her eyes she was met with the sight of a man in the driver seat of the car angrily throwing his hands around and yet all Judy could hear was the sound of her own heartbeat rapidly thumping in her ears. 

Without any thought Judy managed to stumble to the other side of the road watching as the car sped off while blaring their horn at her.

Messily wiping away at the tears and snot all over her face, the brunette pulled out her phone and was greeted with multiple missed phone calls and voicemails from Steve. Nothing from Jen. The one person she wanted to talk to more than anything in the world, and the women couldn’t care less whether she was dead or alive. 

Swallowing down the bile that rose up the back of her throat at the thought of Steve, Judy knew she couldn’t give up on the blonde so easily. Even if she ended up with a door being slammed in her face or a fist colliding with her cheek she knew she couldn’t let it lie until she at least tried to explain herself to Jen better than the previous night. 

The twenty minute walk in the cool night air paired with the near death moment had managed to sober Judy up as she looked up the driveway toward the Harding house that was in complete darkness. Jen’s car was parked in the driveway as she took a deep breath and confidently walked toward the back garden gate knowing no doubt if Jen started screaming the whole neighbourhood would start peering out their curtains and the last thing Judy needed was everyone knowing she was a murderer. 

Judy could barely see where she was stepping, the only light to help being the dark blue glimmer coming from the swimming pool as she approached the back door. 

The next thing Judy knew, a hand was gripping the hair at the back of her head so tightly she let out a yelp that was quickly silenced by a large hand covering her mouth. 

“I thought you had learnt by now not to ignore my phone calls baby.” Steve’s voice was sickeningly sweet as he whispered into Judy’s ear, the hand in her hair not slackening in the slightest as she winced at the burning sensation. 

Judy tried to twist around in the man's grasp but it only served to anger the man even more, the hand around her mouth moving further down to wrap around her neck.

“You think you can ruin me and I won’t do anything about it, huh? I thought you loved me Judy and yet here you are all shacked up with your new girlfriend and her kids. Pathetic doesn’t even begin to describe it.” Judy could feel Steve’s hands around her neck getting tighter as his harsh breath hit her neck, his voice rising with each word.

It wasn’t the first time Steve had used his hands on her but something felt different this time, the anger radiating off him was unlike nothing Judy had felt before. Usually the second Judy whimpered in pain Steve jolted out of his anger but not this time. This time it truly felt like he wanted to harm her.. Wanted to kill her. 

///

Jen couldn’t remember the last time she had gone to bed in such a foul mood. The past few months with Judy in her life had helped her to heal better than anything else ever could and yet it had all come undone with a few words that continually played over and over in her mind. 

All day she had found herself snapping at everyone and everything including her own children. Henry had badgered her all day about Judy, question after question had eventually led to her yelling at him to shut up and him slamming his bedroom door hours ago. Charlie had just glared at her before following his younger brothers lead and going up to his room to avoid her foul mood. 

Tossing and turning in bed, the illuminated alarm clock on the side of the bed taunted her as the numbers changed from 11:23 to 11:24 marking yet another minute spent internally raging and a minute less sleeping. 

No matter how hard she tried to blank Judy from her mind, the woman was entangled in every aspect of her thoughts. Pouring a glass of wine earlier she automatically pulled out two glasses, stopping short to fill the second as Judy’s words slammed to the forefront of her mind. 

“I hit him.” 

It was as if she had been told Ted had died all over again, the grief she had managed to push through for her dead husband crashing into her as she watched her best friend break down in front of her as she confessed. The most heartbreaking part about it all was that she wanted to mean the words, she wanted so much to want the women to be dead but deep down inside it couldn’t be any further from the truth. 

Unable to resist, Jen picked up her phone and clicked the home button letting the screen light up with a picture she so badly wished she could change but couldn’t bring it in herself to change no matter how many times she had tried throughout the day. 

Judy's bright smile, Henry’s soft eyes staring at the brunette along with Charlie’s half hearted roll of the eyes had the blonde letting out a shaking breath. They were a family, something Jen never thought would happen after Ted and now she didn’t know how she was going to survive without the women by her side helping her along the way. 

Shaking her head, Jen rolled out of bed and started to make her way toward the en-suite bathroom but stopped short when she heard a voice coming from the back of the house. 

Creeping toward the window, Jen slowly brought the curtain back and felt her heart drop at the sight of Steve’s hands wrapped around Judy’s neck as he dragged her toward the swimming pool. 

Adrenaline kicking her into gear, Jen scrambled toward her bedroom door before creeping down the stairs trying her best not to wake either of her boys. Not hearing any signs of movement from up the stairs, Jen charged toward the back door not sure what her next move would be until she glanced toward the empty wine bottle sitting beside the kitchen sink. 

Armed with a wine bottle in hand, Jen quickly unlocked the door watching as Steve threw Judy around like a rag doll as the brunette fell in a heap on the floor as she clutched at her throat after nearly having the life choked out of her. 

“Hey! Get your fucking hands of her you animal!” Steve turned around to face her as Judy’s eyes widened at the blonde's appearance. 

The sarcastic chuckle that the dark haired man let out only furthered angered Jen, his eyes darting between the two women before he turned to Judy back handing her across the face. The anger exploded within Jen’s chest as she watched the blood drip from the brunette's lip as she quivered and held her bruised neck struggling to breath. 

“I’m warning you right fucking now, lay your hands on her one more time and I’ll kill you.” Hen growled, her eyes glaring at the man who lent down beside Judy who tried to wriggle out of his touch but didn’t get very far before he grabbed her jaw, squeezing her cheeks together. 

“You know she murdered your husband, right? Working her way into your life and playing Mommy to your kids because she’s so fucked up she can’t have her own. Even her own mother couldn’t love her.” That was the final straw, the way Judy’s eyes fluttered shut and the tears streamed down her face at Steve’s cruel words as though trying to block them out. But Jen could see they had hit her like Steve had intended. 

Letting the bottle of wine slip from her grasp, Jen took a run towards Steve and swung her foot right into the middle of his chest as he lent down beside Judy. Toppling backward, the man just managed to avoid falling into the swimming pool as Jen roughly dragged Judy to stand behind her. 

“Get the fuck off my property before I phone the police and don’t ever come near me or my family ever again you asshole.” Jen squeezed Judy’s hand in her own, wanting so badly to turn around and comfort the woman but not wanting to take her eyes off Steve. 

Watching as the man got to his feet, dusting off the grass from his knees he just smirked as he looked over Jen’s shoulder toward Judy. Jen didn’t need to turn around the know the women was shrinking into herself, the women’s hand tensing in her own. 

“That family includes Judy so you can stop looking at her before I pick up that wine bottle and smash it over your head.” Jen rose her eyebrows, daring the man to do something but the only response she got was a scoff. 

Jen didn’t know how much longer she could keep up the facade, inside the women was a jittery mess. Watching Steve throw Judy around she was more than sure the man could do the same with her if he really wanted but her no nonsense exterior must have been better than she thought as she watched Steve walk toward the gate. 

The second the gate closed over Jen let out a deep breath as she pulled Judy into her arms, feeling the woman's choked sobs as she cried into her neck. The smell of alcohol reached Jens nose, pulling back she took a proper look at the woman in her arms and noticed the glazed look in the brunette's eyes.

“C’mon, let's get you inside.” Sliding her arm around Judy’s waist, Jen felt the women completely sag into her side as they slowly walked toward the back door. 

Jen couldn’t help her eyes from glancing at the women every few seconds, the bruising around Judy’s neck making her cringe and tighten her grip around the younger woman's waist. 

Slowly but surely Jen managed to open the back door without too much hassle before gently helping Judy to sit down on the couch. Crouching in front of Judy, Jen dragged the throw blanket from the arm of the couch and wrapped it around the brunette's shoulders before resting her hand on Judy’s knee. Judy was completely avoiding eye contact, instead choosing to gaze down at her nails as her body shivered under Jen’s hand. 

“I’m just going to get some ice, okay?” Making a move to stand up, Jen didn’t make it very far before she felt a hand tightly gripping at her wrist. 

Turning back around, Jen’s eyes took in Judy who was having her head vehemently as her hands rubbed against the dark bruises blooming around her neck. 

“I’ll just be one minute, you need ice for your neck Jude.” Jen could see the fear in the women’s eyes as they began to well up with tears, Judy trying to protest but struggling to get the words out through the pain. 

Biting her lip, Jen knew moving away would only make the brunette more upset and the last thing she needed was for the women to become more agitated than she already was. 

Softly sliding her hand into Judy’s, the blonde entwined their fingers together before moving to sit on the couch beside the younger woman who instantly burrowed herself into her side. 

“I’m so sorry Jen, you have to know how sorry I am.” Judy’s voice was horse, the words having a slight slur to them as the tears flowed down the brunettes face. 

Taking a deep breath Jen softly ran her fingers through the younger woman's hair, not missing the way she leaned into the touch. 

Jen’s thoughts were all over the place, images of Steve throwing Judy around had the anger building up inside herself but she knew the last thing the brunette needed was to witness another person's rage even if it wasn’t directed toward her. It all made sense now, the way Judy would flinch when someone shouted or the way she was quick to respond with an apology even when it wasn’t her fault. The women had been abused, both emotionally and physically. 

“Steve was in the car wasn’t he? He’s the reason you didn’t stop.” Jen didn’t need the women to reply, it wasn’t even really a question but more of a statement but the timid nod of Judy’s head against her shoulder was the answer she expected. 

Jen’s hand rubbed soothing patterns against Judy’s back, the woman's breathing beginning to slow down as she held tightly to the blondes shirt. Placing a kiss on the crown of the younger woman's head, Jen only then noticed her own tears as she hastily wiped them away from her cheeks. 

“We should really have someone take a look at your neck, that bruising is pretty fucking nasty.” Jen murmured, the women in her arms tensing at the mention of the marks on her neck.

“I’m okay, really.” The smile that Judy tried to plaster on her face told Jen the opposite of her statement, the smile turning into more of a grimace when the split in her lip cracked again. 

Leaning over to the coffee table to grab a tissue, Jen tenderly grasped the brunette's chin with her thumb and forefinger as she lightly wiped away at the mixture of dry and fresh blood around Judy’s mouth. 

Jen could feel Judy’s eyes gazing at her as she concentrated on removing every last speck of blood from the women’s face, trying her hardest not to blush under the intensity of the women’s stare. 

“Your cheek is going to be quite bruised tomorrow too.” Jen didn’t miss the way Judy’s eyes fluttered shut as she thumb stroked across the apple of the woman's cheekbone. 

Judy gently swiped her tongue across her bottom lip before clearing her throat, pulling back slightly she tugged nervously at the bottom of her dress.

“I’ll get out of your hair, I’ve caused you enough trouble as it is.” Jen’s eyebrows drew together as she slid her hand to rest on Judy’s shoulder. 

Jen didn’t know what it was about Judy but she often found herself reaching out to touch the women in any way she could. It was something she questioned late at night when she lay in bed, wondering why she found herself toying with the idea of asking the younger women to share her bed with her just so she could cuddle the other women in the comfort of her bed instead of on the couch here and there. 

Ultimately she put it down to missing the way she used to be with Ted before everything went to shit but it was more than that and deep down she knew that. 

“You’re not going anywhere. I wasn’t bullshitting when I told Steve you’re my family Judy, I really meant it.” Squeezing Judy’s shoulder she watched as a spark of happiness lit up in the brunette's eyes at the mention of family, knowing exactly what it meant to the other women. 

“So are you going to let me put some ice on your neck so we can go to fucking bed or what?” Jen raises her eyebrow, glad to see Judy nodding her head softly as she rose to her feet. 

Leaning down to adjust the throw around Judy’s shoulder, Jen brushed the younger woman's bangs out of her eyes before softly placing a kiss against the woman's bruised cheek, mindful not to put too much pressure against the skin. 

“Stop going all soft on me Jen.” Judy teased as she beamed at the older women, not used to seeing the women being so affectionate and soft. 

“You want me to be a bitch? Cause I could if you wanted me to babe.” Jen joked, pulling a tea towel from the kitchen drawer as she wrapped up a small bag of ice normally used on injuries the boys usually procured. 

Walking back over toward Judy, the blonde handed over the tea towel before turning back toward the kitchen area. Turning the kettle on, Jen pulled one of Judy’s mugs of tea from the cupboard before dropping one of the women’s chamomile tea bags in and adding the water. 

Glancing over toward the dark haired women, Jen knew there was no way she could ever abandon the women ever again. Despite everything, Judy was still an important part of her life that couldn’t be cut out unless she wanted to be miserable. 

The boys had missed her too, even if Charlie pretended like he didn’t. Parts of Judy were dotted around the house, even looking around the kitchen there was no denying the women’s presence with crystals and bohemian cushions on the couch. 

Things could only get better from this point. It had crashed and burned and yet she had already found herself beginning to forgive Judy. 

A niggling part of Jen felt like there was more behind her friendly feelings but just having Judy sitting on her couch again, albeit battered and bruised, felt so good and she wasn’t going to deny herself the luxury of having Judy in her life anymore. 

Jen just hoped they could move on and be a family again. Judy might not be able to have a family of her own but Jen just hoped she and her boys could be enough for the brunette who had suffered enough in her life already. It was time to move on, for her and Judy. 

———

Carry on or leave it as a one shot?...


	2. Chapter 2

So pretty angsty in this chapter and a trigger warning for child abuse/violence so please be aware!! 

———

It was the sound of a car door closing outside that had Judy’s fluttering open as she wriggled around only to then be pulled in tighter by the arm currently wrapped around her waist. 

“Stop moving.” The sound of Jen’s half asleep murmurs so close to her ear had Judy almost jumping out of her skin, the older woman's breath hitting against her shoulder as she nuzzled closer into the crook of Judy’s neck. 

Relaxing back into the front of Jen’s body, the brunette took a deep breath but couldn’t help the slight wince at the dull pain radiating from her lower back. 

“What’s wrong? Is it your neck?” Just could hear the worry in Jen’s voice, the woman’s hand making distracting patterns on her hip bone as she waited for Judy’s answer. 

Slowly turning around to face Jen, the brunette was taken aback but the care that she saw in the woman's face. It was something Judy had ever had, not even with Steve. The man never really took much interest in her feelings, more concerned about making sure she looked presentable enough on his arm at a work event or family dinner.

It was strange, trying to adjust to the reality that someone did truly care about her and even still Judy found herself questioning exactly why Jen even cared, why the women even allowed her back into the house knowing what she knew about her part in Ted’s death. 

“It’s nothing.” Judy could tell by the sigh that Jen let out behind her that the blonde wasn’t going to settle for anything less than a proper explanation. 

The hand on her hip slid up her side until it rested against her shoulder, Jen carefully tugging her to lie on her back so the women could look her in the eyes.

“Where does it hurt?” Judy noticed the way Jen’s eyes widened slightly at the sight of whatever bruising she was sporting but the blonde quickly replaced it with a soft smile. 

At this point Judy knew there was no point lying, the blonde was like a dog with a bone once she got started and so the best thing she could do was to let Jen care for her like she had wanted to last night. 

“My back hurts a little.” Just admitted, her voice still slightly choked as she cleared her throat, her hand coming up to rub at the bruising around her neck.

Jen's hand moved from her shoulder, gently nudging Judy’s hand out of the way as she softly brushed her fingers over the soft skin on the brunette's neck giving a pointed look at Judy who bit her lip before letting out a resigned sigh.

“And my neck too.” Jen nodded her head, seeming happy with Judy’s answers as she unconsciously continued to gently stroke the soft skin under her fingertips.

There was a moments silence between the two women as Judy closed her eyes at the soothing motions of Jen’s fingertips, the pain in her body seeming to turn to nothing as the blonde gunned softly above her.

“So here’s the plan, you’re going to lay on the couch downstairs today and let me take care of you okay? I don’t want any fucking arguments, it’s not up for debate.” Jen’s voice was stern, as if she was talking to either Henry or Charlie and yet there was an underlying tone of worry that Judy couldn’t miss. 

Opening her eyes, Judy was met with the sight of Jen raising her eyebrows as if waiting for the inevitable rebuttals she expected for the brunette but all she got was a nod of the head in agreement which had her smiling in victory. 

“Now that that’s settled, want me to lift you down the stairs? Cause you know I’m pretty strong.” Jen waggled her eyebrows as she made a show of flexing her arm muscles, the movement having more of an effect on Judy than the blonde could ever realise. 

Jen was gorgeous, Judy had always thought so but especially in the morning. The sun peeking through the bedroom blinds was making Jen’s hair seems even lighter and softer if that was even possible, the makeup free face gazing back at her making her heart beat just that little bit faster as she tried her hardest not to reach out and just touch every part of Jen that was within her reach. 

The way that Jen had described herself before, little comments here and there about how disgusting she looked really made Judy’s blood boil at whoever had placed those seeds of doubt in Jens mind. It was clear that despite the women saying the comments with a joking edge that they were truly what the older women thought, Ted’s indifference about her toward the end clearly having an effect on the women’s confidence. 

“You know you’re totally gorgeous, right?” The slight blush that bloomed across Jen’s face and neck was worth the embarrassment of the words tumbling from Judy’s mouth, she couldn’t stop them before they came blurting out but she couldn’t regret it when she saw a flicker of adoration in the blondes eyes. 

“Enough with the flirting, it’s too early in the morning for that shit.” Jen brushed it off as she pulled the covers back, arching her back as she stretched out giving the brunette a lovely view of her toned stomach. 

Averting her eyes when Jen glanced back over to her, Judy moved to shuffle off the bed but didn’t get very far when the older women’s hands quickly moved to settle under her thighs and around her back. 

“Hey! Put me down!” Judy protested in a whisper shout as she wriggled around in the blondes grasp, trying to stop the women from lifting her out of bed but it was a lost battle when Jen managed to stand up with the brunette firmly held against her body.

The smug smile on Jen’s face had Judy rolling her eyes in half hearted annoyance, an adorable pout adorning her face as she wrapped her arms around the older woman's neck. 

“Wow that protest really lasted longer huh?” Jen teased as they quietly made their way down the hallway, trying not to disturb Henry who was known to be a very light sleeper.

All Jen got in reply was a huff, the brunette burrowing her face into her neck almost making her miss a step on the stairs but she managed to hold it together as she laid Judy down in the same spot as last night on the couch. 

“So any special requests for breakfast? I can make you some yogurt with that gravely granola shit you like so much? You know I tried a bowl last week and had to spit it out, what’s with all the fucking seeds and raisins?” Jen rambled as she screwed up her face, absentmindedly tugging at the throw she had placed on top of the brunette before standing up waiting for an answer. 

“You should really try it again, it’s better than the measly slice of toast you have every morning. Granola would be great but you know I’m not an invalid right? I can make my own breakfast Jen.” The blonde seemed to ignore Judy’s last comment as she shuffled around the kitchen gathering up everything she needed, humming along to a nameless tune as she went. 

Reaching over for the TV remote, Judy managed to hold in the wince as she flicked the TV on and turned it over to the music channels settling on an old 70’s song she recognised. 

Memories of sleeping in her mother’s old car with the radio playing for company flooding into the forefront of her mind, Judy tried hard to push them away but Steve’s words from last night came bubbling to the surface. 

It was true what Steve had said, her mother never really loved her. The bar was set pretty low once her mother was out of the picture so Steve seemed like a saint in comparison to her mother even if he did hit her and hurl abuse at her, it was never as bad as when she was a child. 

The way she used to lay in the back of the hatchback car, tears streaming down the side of her face as she wished for her mother to come ‘home’ and hug her through the nightmares that came every night. All she had wanted was attention, a slap to the face became a hug and an insult became an ‘I love you’. It was so many shades of fucked up and it paved the way for Steve’s behaviour to become the norm, the same it did with her mother. 

Despite everything, Judy still yearned for her mother and it killed her inside knowing her mother couldn’t care less whether she was dead or alive. The last Judy knew she was in jail for some kind of drug charge but for all she knew the women could be laying in a graveyard somewhere. It was where her desperation to have a child came from, to give someone the love and care she had never received. To make someone feel important and special, not like the way she did when she was a child. 

“Jude? What's the matter? You’re crying.” Jen’s worried face came into her vision as Judy shook her head as though physically trying to remove the thoughts from her head. 

Judy’s bowl of cereal and glass of orange juice was sat on the coffee table, the music in the background changed to a more recent chart song. The brunette couldn’t tell how long she had spaced out for but she could taste the salt from the tears running down her face on her lips as she quickly brushed them away replacing them with a watery smile.

“How can you even look at me after everything? I’ve ruined your life in so many ways and here you are looking after me. I don’t deserve it Jen.” The tears on Judy’s face continued to flow, each one she wiped away was quickly replaced by another as her face crumpled up. 

Trying and failing to bat away Jen’s hands, the blonde quickly gathered her up into her arms as she brushed the stray hair out of Judy’s face so she could look at the brunette properly. How Judy could still look beautiful despite the tears and snot was beyond Jen, she had always thought of her best friend as gorgeous but seeing her so stripped back and bare only made her love the women even more. 

Judy had been through so much, more than Jen could probably imagine and the blonde knew she was going to do everything in her power to help the women through whatever she could. Steve included. 

“I can look at you because you’re my best friend Jude. Those horrible words I said to you that night? I didn’t mean them and you have to know that... You have to realise that I need you more than I could ever hate you and so we are going to try to move on as best we can because I can’t live without you in my life and neither can the boys. I tried it for one day and it was a total fucking mess.” Jen hated talking about her feelings, completely loathed it and yet when it came to Judy she knew how much her words meant to the other women, even if it did make her want to vomit at the thought of opening up. 

The way the brunette hung onto her as if her life depended on it made Jen’s heart hurt, it was as if she was scared that if she let go then the blonde would disappear. Allowing Judy to take a moment to gather herself, Jen slid the women back into the sofa before reaching over to grab the women’s juice from the table.

“You think you can eat? I’ve got painkillers but you have to eat something first or else you’ll be sick which would a fucking nightmare.” Judy nodded her head lightly, accepting the bowl from Jen who moved to sit beside her resting her hand on the brunettes back. 

The sound of footsteps coming down the stairs had Jen’s eyes widening, the sight of Judy’s bruised and battered body no doubt about to upset Henry. Leaping up from the sofa to try to meet her son in the hallway, Jen didn’t manage to get to Henry in time.

“Hey Boop, sleep okay?” Jen tried to draw Henry’s attention away from Judy but the young boy's eyes were firmly stuck on the brunette as his little mouth dropped open in shock.

Judy bit her lip, trying her hardest not to cry as she watched Henry’s eyes worried taking in her appearance. The brunette had avoided looking in the mirror since last night, she had seen a quick glance of her injuries last night as she brushed her teeth but she knew they would look a hundred times worse in the morning light. 

“What happened?” Henry shifted from foot to foot, wanting to move toward Judy but scared of hurting the women.

Jen crouched down in front of Henry, rubbing her son's shoulder reassuringly as his eyes finally moved away from the brunette to settle on his mother. 

“Judy had a little accident last night, someone hurt her quite badly and so we have to be super careful and nice today. I’m sure Judy would love a hug right about now though, right babe?” Henry’s eyes flickered over toward Judy who was nodding her head eagerly, the woman holding her arms out for the young boy.

Henry quickly shuffled over toward Judy, the little smile on his face melting the woman's heart as he gently settled on the couch beside the brunette leaning his head against her chest. 

Judy let out a content sigh, pulling the throw around Henry as Jen watched on with what could only be described as utter adoration. The sight in front of her was what she knew Judy needed, love surrounding her and not the dark presence of Steve in her life. 

“Do I have to go to school today?” Henry groaned, stealing a mouth full of Judy’s cereal he smiled brightly as the younger women affectionately ruffled his hair. 

“You’ve got that science test that Judy helped you revise for remember? So yes you do have to go in baby.” Henry nodded his head reluctantly, seeming to know that this morning wasn’t the time for arguing.

Jen pottered around the kitchen, managing to rustle up a batch of pancakes without burning the house down as she listened to Judy and Henry giggle and chat away on the couch as her son happily rested his head on the brunette's lap.

“How about when you get home from school we have a movie night on the coach with take out for dinner? I’ll even let you and Judy pick out one of those Disney movies that you both love so much.” Jen knew the offer had gone down a treat as Henry eagerly nodded his head as he rose from his seat to take the plate of pancakes from his mother’s hand. 

Jen took Judy’s empty glass back to the kitchen and quickly topped it up before grabbing a couple painkillers, handing them over to Judy who gave a grateful smile in response as she quickly swallowed down the pain relievers.

The only thing missing from the scene was Charlie, the teenager would usually be sat at the kitchen diner with his headphones hanging around his neck while he pretended to be annoyed at Judy insisting he have some form of breakfast. 

Jen knew she needed to have a proper chat with Charlie, her son was clearly going through something and she hadn’t exactly handled it very well but she realised that now and she was willing to possibly be rejected as she quickly pulled out her phone and sent a text asking him to come for dinner tonight. A dinner wouldn’t fix everything but it would be a start. 

“Right big man, up those stairs and get dressed. The sooner you leave the sooner you can be back sitting on the couch later with a slice of pizza.” Jen and Judy shared a soft chuckle as they watched Henry quickly drop his plate in the kitchen sink before scrambling toward the stairs.

A comfortable silence settled over the two women as Jen quietly ate her breakfast on the couch beside Judy who seemed a little more upbeat after Henry’s appearance. 

“Sometimes I think he wishes you were his mum instead.” Jen joked as she wiped away at the crumbs from around her mouth, quickly pulling her hair up into a messy bun. 

“Henry is lucky to have you as a mum, you’re amazing at it Jen-“ Despite the blonde scoffing at her comment, Judy carried on “Henry knows how much you love him, you’ve given him a roof over his head, food in his belly, clothes in his back. That’s more than some kids could ever dream of having.” Judy swallowed thickly as she batted her eyelashes to clear the tears that had formed in her eyes. 

Jen was looking at her as if something was finally starting to click into place, the sympathy swirling around in her eyes. Jen opened her mouth ready to say something but stopped short when Henry came running back into the living room, dressed more for a fashion walk than a day at school. 

“How do I look?” Henry quizzed, a question he liked to ask both the women whenever he entered the living room in the morning after getting dressed. 

“Very handsome.” Judy winked as she held her thumbs up earning a giant grin from the young boy. 

Running toward his mother, Henry quickly gave the blonde a kiss on the cheek before moving more gingerly toward Judy. The brunette's face beamed like every other morning when the young boy offered her the same kiss on the cheek as his mother, the young boy rubbing his cheek against her before he pulled back. 

“Look after Judy today Mom.” Henry pointed at his mum, Jen giving a mock salute in response as the young blonde grabbed his lunch from the counter before waving over his shoulder at the two women. 

“Facts of Life binge watch okay with you?” Judy nodded her head as she moved closer to Jen, unable to stop herself from reaching out to the women, not that the blonde seemed to mind in the slightest as she lifted her arm up for the younger of the two to settle against her side. 

The feeling of Judy’s body tightly pressed against her own made Jen feel so content, knowing the women was safe in her arms after last nights ordeal made her breath just that little bit easier. 

The image of Steve strangling Judy wasn’t something that could be easily forgotten, constantly replaying in her mind when she glanced at the bruising around the brunettes neck but hearing said women laughing softly as she watched their favourite programme was enough to dull the anger going on inside herself.

——

Jen was gently stroking Judy’s hair as the two of them sat in a comfortable silence, neither of them really paying much attention to the TV when Judy’s voice quietly whispered against her chest. 

“My mom used to hit me when I was a kid…” Jen’s hand stilled for a moment, the brunettes body going tense against her own until she carried on with the soothing motions of her fingers waiting for Judy to carry on like she suspected the woman was going to.

“I can remember the first time it happened, well probably not the first time but the first one I remember. We lived in the back of my Moms hatchback car, one time she didn’t come back and it was maybe ten o’clock at night. I was starving and so I took the money she had hid in the glove compartment, walked to the nearest shop and got myself some milk and cookies. I must have been about five years old.. I was so scared but I made it back to the car.” 

Jen could feel Judy shaking against her, the tears soaking into her T-shirt as Judy took a deep breath before carrying on despite Jen softly telling her she didn’t have to. 

“My mom was standing next to the car, smoking her cigarette. Looking back she probably didn’t care that I had gone, she was more bothered about me taking the money. She watched me walk the whole length of the street, waited until I reached for the car door handle and then she hit me, hit me so hard I went flying backwards. I’ll never forget the way she looked at me when I was lying on the floor crying out for her to help me up.” Jen could feel Judy’s pain, the women gripped at her waist so tightly her nails were no doubt leaving half moon indents in her skin. 

Jen didn’t know what she could say, there was nothing she could really say that would take away the hurt and sheer horror of what Judy had gone through. The brunette was openly sobbing against her shoulder, the choked sound like a hammer shattering her heart as years of pent up emotion poured from Judy. 

If that was the first time Judy could remember then Jen couldn’t imagine how many other times the brunette could remember, no doubt years upon years of awful memories were ingrained in Judy’s mind haunting her at every opportunity.

“Let it all out sweetie, I’m not going anywhere. I promise, I’m right here.” Jen murmured, her hand rubbing calming circles against the women’s back as she rocked the women from side to side. 

How Judy could be so positive about life when such tragedies had happened to her way beyond Jens understanding. The women had been through so much in her childhood, no doubt only showing Jen the tip of the iceberg and then to end up with someone like Steve who liked to throw his fists around? It was as if the universe was out to get Judy in every way possible, beating the women when she was already down. 

Well that was all about to change, Jen was going to do everything in her will to help the women take back the power in her life. Nobody would ever lay their hands on Judy, other than to give a a loving hand or soothing touch. And Judy’s mother? She really hoped the woman was dead for her own sake because if she ever so much as showed her face in Jen’s presence she might as well be a dead woman walking. 

———


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks to those still reading, following and commenting! 

———

It didn’t take very long for Judy to fall asleep after her tearful confession, the brunette curling up in Jen’s lap as the older women flitted in between checking her emails for work and watching the women in her lap sleep.

Waking Judy up around lunch time the younger women had quickly rebutted the offer of food before quickly settling back in beside Jen who couldn’t bring herself to argue with the brunette.

A text from Charlie confirming his appearance at dinner had Jen’s spirits lifted. Every time Jen looked down at Judy all she could visualise was a young little girl yearning for her mother’s love, rejected of love and a family. 

The fact that Judy couldn’t have her own children was like some sick cosmic joke, the way the brunette was with Henry and Charlie at times had her feeling something alike to jealousy. Ted had been the stay at home parent while she slaved day after day sacrificing spending bonding time with her own children. 

Judy had waltzed in and within the space of a few days she had Henry attached to her at the hip and Charlie laughing at her dorky sense of humour. If she didn’t love Judy as much as she did then the jealousy would have become too much but it did melt away, having the support of the other women allowed her some breathing time to adjust to being a single parent. Now she found herself enjoying spending time as a family sat around the dinner table every night laughing and joking compared to when Ted was alive, a stiff and at times awkward event.

“What time is it?” Judy’s voice broke her out of her daydreaming, the brunette moving stiffly as she rubbed away the sleep from her eyes. 

Adorable was the word that came to Jen’s mind but the thought was quickly shoved back down like she did most days. It was a regular occurrence, inner thoughts about the brunette constantly being squashed before they could be blurred out and cause embarrassment. It was bad enough that Judy had caught her eyes lingering in places no best friends eyes should linger. 

A friendly compliment here and there was okay but there was no way she would go as far as telling the women her boobs looked great that day in her dress or how soft and kissable her lips were. Those would stay crammed down inside herself until she figured out a way to get over the ridiculous crush she had on her best friend. 

“Just after four o’clock, the boys should be in soon.” Jen offered in response, unable to help herself from leaning down and pressing a kiss to Judy’s forehead. 

Judy glanced up at her and for a split second Jen was worried something was wrong with the brunette, her eyes gazing at her with an intensity that even for the younger women was more than usual. If Jen didn’t know any better she would think that Judy was going to kiss her, the way the women’s eyes flickered down toward her lips. 

The moment was broken as Jen cleared her throat, afraid that if she didn’t then she would make a fool of herself and do something stupid like kiss the younger women. 

“Boys as in plural? Charlie’s coming home?” Judy asked after a moment, her face lighting up at the mention of the teenager making an appearance. 

“Yup! Got a text from him a little while ago saying he’d be coming for dinner.” Jen replied, carefully untangling herself from Judy before making her way toward the kitchen.

Grabbing a clean glass, Jen popped a couple more painkillers for Judy. Watching the women sitting on the couch, a content smile on her face, Jen took a deep breath before broaching the subject of last night's drama. 

“I’ve been thinking.. Do you think maybe it might be a good idea to get a restraining order? For Steve?” Jen instantly noticed the change in Judy's demeanour, the brunettes back going rigid as her hand subconsciously reached up to her neck. 

Moving closer to the sofa, Jen placed the water and painkillers on the table before taking her seat next to Judy again. Not sure if her comfort would be appreciated, Jen took a chance and reached her hand out toward the younger women offering her touch. 

“I don’t know Jen.. I don’t think it would be a great idea to provoke him like that.” Judy’s voice held a nervous edge to it, her fingers entwining with Jen’s as her eyes avoided contact with the blondes. 

“It’s up to you Jude, you’re the one in control here but if he ever comes around here again I won’t be holding back on that motherfucker.” Jen could feel the anger rising up inside herself at the thought of Steve coming anywhere near Judy ever again but it quickly dissipated when the younger women let out a soft laugh and smiled gratefully.

As Judy picked up the glass from the coffee table, the front door opened making her flinch. Only narrowly avoiding a broken glass all over the floor relief flooded the brunette's face when Henry and Charlie’s voices could be heard as they joked around in the hallway.

The two brothers appeared in the doorway, the younger of the two instantly making a beeline for Judy while Charlie stopped in his steps as his eyes took in the sight in front of him. Clearly it was a mistake not warning Charlie but trying to explain through text what had happened to Judy wasn’t exactly easy. 

“Hey Char, how was school?” There was an awkward beat where Jen was sure Charlie was going to start with a barrage of questions but he quickly gathered himself together before settling down on the couch as he chatted away to the brunette about his day at school.

Jen was grateful that Charlie’s anger didn’t flare up like her own did at the worst of times. Despite their rocky start, Charlie really did care about Judy and so the concerned glances he kept shooting over at Jen didn’t surprise the blonde one bit. The questions were coming, Jen was fully aware of that but right now she wanted a relaxing afternoon spent on the couch with her favourite people where for a few hours she could help Judy try to forget about all the bad in the world. 

———

Jen had watched on from the kitchen island as Charlie half heartedly protested against Finding Dory being put on, the order of pizza being placed as she struggled to hear the man on the other end while Henry shouted excitedly. Jen didn’t have it in her to intervene and tell them to quiet down when Judy’s face was glowing with a toothy grin, the brunette laughing at Charlie as he set the film up on the TV.

“Anyone want a soda?” Hearing a chorus of yes’, Jen gathered up the tins before taking her seat on the opposite side of Henry who had refused to move from the brunettes side since returning home half an hour ago. 

If you had asked Jen months ago, she could never have imagined finding happiness again. If she were being really honest with herself, she couldn’t remember the last time she felt happy in her life with Ted. As soon as the resentment and disgust started to rear itself in the marriage it was as if every happy memory was wiped from existence. 

Charlie and Henry were the only thing that brought her joy, her two sons and even then she still felt disconnected at times. Judy brought them together, she balanced out Jen’s angst with her cheerful demeanour. Even now, the woman was beaming and Jen still felt the anger bubbling under the surface at the sight of the bruises no matter how hard she tried to ignore them.

Judy’s hand lightly tapped the back of her own, the opening titles playing out on the screen as Charlie turned on his laptop trying to appear like she wasn’t watching despite his eyes flicking up to the screen every two seconds. 

“You okay?” Judy whispered, her other hand lightly stroking Henry’s hair as the young boy became engrossed in the film. 

Nodding her head quickly, Jen could tell Judy wasn’t so sure about her answer but she let it drop as she pulled the blonde's hand to rest on her lap as she brushed her thumb against the back of her hand. The soothing action soon had Jen relaxed, sinking further back into the couch she felt her stomach flutter when Judy followed suit and wedged herself into the blondes' side. 

Glancing down at Judy, Jen took the chance to take in the brunette's features up close. It was something she found herself doing in the middle of the night whenever she managed to persuade Judy to share her bed with her, if she could get away with it she would have the brunette stay in her bed every night of life but she knew that would mean having a conversation she wasn’t anywhere ready to have with Judy never mind herself. 

It was creepy and it grossed her out the first time she realised that she was admiring her best friend as she lay sleeping in her bed but she quickly ignored whatever thoughts were racing through her mind and allowed herself to take in every minuscule detail on the brunette's face. Like the way her nose twitched after every breath she took in. The way her lips pouted ever so slightly making Jen want to close the distance between their lips. It was only at night that she allowed herself the chance to give into her curiosity and attraction, when the women couldn’t see the yearning look on her face and yet she couldn’t help herself right now. Every opportunity she could today she had found herself constantly looking at Judy, as if subconsciously her mind needed to check the woman was still alive and breathing. Jen didn’t know how many times a day she got lost in her thoughts about Judy but it certainly happened more and more often as time went on, like right now. 

Feeling as if someone was watching her, Jen looked up and was instantly met with Charlie’s stare as he watched her intently. Jen could feel the heat rising up on her face as the teenager furrowed his eyebrows before his eyes dropped to Judy and then back up to meet her nervous gaze. 

Jen knew the exact look that would have been on her face, the anxiety rising in her stomach as Charlie quickly looked back down at his laptop. 

The anxiety was quickly replaced with concern when she heard Judy sniffling against her side, her body shaking slightly as she tried to hide the fact she was crying. 

“Judy? What’s wrong?” Henry beat Jen to the punch as his worried voice carried over the sound of the film.

Judy let out a half hearted laugh as her hand made quick work of brushing away the stray tears from her face, shaking her head.

“Don’t worry about me Hen, honestly. I’m just glad Dory found her Mom again that’s all.” Judy explained as she tried to turn everyone's attention back to the film, her eyes ignoring Henry’s confused and worried look. 

Jen felt like slamming her head against the wall, sitting watching a film about someone trying to find her mother and here they were not hours ago on the same couch talking about how fucked up Judy’s relationship was with her own mother. Of course the brunette was bound to get upset, she was already emotional enough without the thought of her own mother whirling around her mind all over again. 

“We can turn it off Jude. Boop won’t mind, right? We can pick something else.” Jen offered as Henry nodded his head in agreement, the young boy more than happy to do anything to make the brunette happy the same as he would his Mum.

“Honestly I’m fine, don’t worry about me I’m just being sensitive as usual.” Judy was biting her lip, the cut from the previous night threatening to tear again, the tears quite clearly still glimmering in her eyes as they kept watching the film despite everyone else’s eyes watching her worriedly. 

Jen could tell the word sensitive was something which had been used against the women by the way her voice wavered slightly. No doubt it was used as an excuse for why her Mother had taken her anger out on her or even Steve. The women could be sensitive but it wasn’t a bad thing in Jen’s eyes, if anything it made the women even more endearing that she was in touch with her feelings unlike herself who constantly bottled them up and let herself explode.

Before Jen could refute the women’s comment, the front doorbell went signalling the arrival of dinner. The Harding’s were all grateful for the excuse to pause the movie. 

It wasn’t until they all sat down after they had eaten dinner to continue the movie that Jen realised Charlie had changed it to something else without anyone noticing him doing it. 

Nobody questioned it as they all sat back down to enjoy the next film, this time without any tears from Judy and a whole lot more laughter this time around. 

———

Jen wasn’t sure whether Charlie was going to stay over, not wanting to ask for fear of ruining the happy atmosphere but her question was answered when he went upstairs and returned wearing his pyjamas. 

Judy had glanced up at Jen with an excited smile, clearly just as pleased as the blonde was at the development. Throughout the night both the boys had a constant eye on Judy, the same as Jen did but the women seemed to get over her earlier upset. 

Henry had pleaded to stay up to watch one more movie even though it was already past his bedtime but neither Jen or Judy could deny the boy as soon as he started the puppy dog eyes. By the end of the film Henry was fast asleep on the couch, Jen carrying him up to bed leaving Judy and Charlie alone in the living room.

Giving the two a little time, Jen lingered on the stairs waiting for the murmuring to die down before peering around the doorway. Charlie had moved closer to Judy, the two of them sitting shoulder to shoulder as they whispered softly between themselves. 

“Whispering about me are you?” Jen questioned jokingly, gathering up the crisp and sweet wrappers that had accumulated on the coffee table as the evening went on. 

“You’re not that special Jen.” Judy bantered back, a sparkle in her eye as Charlie snorted at the women’s response. 

Rolling her eyes, Jen pointed at Charlie before motioning over her shoulder toward the stairs. The teenager's mouth opened as if he was going to argue about going to bed but Jen’s stern look with her eyebrow raised told him there was no point in trying. 

“Goodnight, love you guys.” The last part mumbled over his shoulder but both the women heard the words as Charlie made a quick exit already halfway up the stairs before either women could respond. 

Jen continued to potter around the kitchen, cleaning up the empty pizza boxes and sorting out the dishwasher while Judy watched on.

“Can I help?” Jen looked over toward Judy who fidgeted around, used to being the one who tidied up at night before making her way over to the guesthouse. 

“I’m nearly finished babe, thanks though. You ready for bed?” Judy nodded her head in reply, gingerly moving her way toward the edge of the couch as she slowly rose to her feet. 

The younger women took a minute to steady herself, slowly but surely making her way over to Jen who watched with itching hands ready to reach out and grab the women. 

“Can you give me a hand to get down the steps?” Judy tilted her head toward the steps outside, Jen’s face scrunching up in confusion until she realised what the brunettes intentions were. 

“Judy you’re not sleeping out in the fucking guesthouse. What if you fall out of bed or something? You’re staying in my room, just give me two minutes and I’ll help you up the stairs.” Judy let out a resigned sigh, nodding her head as she subconsciously began wiping down the worktop until the blonde glared at her. 

Holding up her hands in surrender, Judy chuckled as she leant against the counter watching as Jen bent over to tie the bin bag giving the brunette a nice view to look at. 

Standing back up, Jen didn’t miss the way Judy’s eyes roamed over the length of her body until they settled back up to mean the blonde's gaze. 

“Taking a good look, are we Jude?” Jen teased lightheartedly, enjoying the way Judy smiled shyly, putting an extra swing in her hips as she walked out of the room with the bin bag in hand.

Jen didn’t know where her confidence was coming from, maybe it was the way that Judy would take every opportunity to compliment her on her outfit or make up. Maybe it was the way that she occasionally caught Judy’s eyes running up her body in a way that Jen could only wish was more than friendly but she knew she was just being stupid but it didn’t stop her from flirting with the women when she had a sudden surge of self confidence like right now. 

——

“Feel free time grab a T-shirt from my pyjamas drawer, you know where they are babe.” Jen offered, walking toward her en-suite bathroom to brush her teeth as she wiped away the makeup from her face. 

Quickly changing into her own pyjamas, Jen walked out of the bathroom and couldn’t help the gasp that left her mouth at the sight of Judy’s back as the women dragged a T-shirt over her head.

“Jesus fucking Christ Judy!” The brunette twisted around, tears springing to her eyes as she winced at the sudden movement. 

Jen closed the space between them, her hand coming to rest delicately against the thin material of the T-shirt that hid the deep purple bruising that spammed half her back on her smooth pale skin. 

“Those shitty painkillers probably weren’t helping at all were they?” Jen could tell from the women’s face that the answer was a big fat no, the way her teeth but into her lower lip as though nervous of the blonde's reaction. 

Fingertips lovingly stroked across the brunettes lower lip, carefully tugging it away from the women’s teeth to stop Judy from tearing open the healing cut. Jen couldn’t help herself as her fingers continued to trace Judy’s face under her touch, enjoying the way the younger woman's eyes fluttered shut at her actions. 

All that ran through Jen’s head was how much she wanted to press her lips against Judy’s, how much she wanted to worship the women in front of her and make her recognise how special she was. How much she meant to her. It was starting to click into place, why she wanted Judy so close to her. It wasn’t just some stupid attraction. It was more serious than that, not something that could be brushed aside. 

“We‘ll see about getting stronger painkillers tomorrow. Let’s get into bed, it’s been a rough twenty four hours and I am beyond tired so I can only imagine you are beyond fucked.” Judy let out a breathy laugh as she let Jen’s hand in her back guide her toward her side of the bed. The two women made their way under the covers, Jen pulling the covers up around Judy brushing the women’s hair away from her eyes. 

It was strange, how much more domesticated she was with her best friend compared to her husband whom she had been married to and had loved for what felt like a lifetime. Jen found herself wanting to spend nights in with Judy rather than work ridiculous hours like she used to with Ted. Coming home to find the younger women humming as she made dinner while chatting away to Henry and Charlie in the living room was her perfect night in. A part of Jen felt guilty at how quickly Ted had been erased from the picture but visions of Bambi quickly helped to tamper down that specific problem. 

“Do you want me to see if I’ve got any stronger painkillers in the en-suite?” Jen offered, leaning up on her elbow until Judy tugged on it for her to lay down. 

The brunette moved into her usual place when she ended up in Jen’s bed, leg wrapped up around the blonde's lithe waist while her head rested underneath the older woman's chin. With anyone else Jen would find herself feeling claustrophobic but with Judy it felt right, the woman's body fitting perfectly against her own as she did her usual wriggling around until she found the perfect spot. Reaching over to turn the light off, the room was quickly cast into darkness as Jen held Judy against her body as though she was made of glass. If there was one thing Ien was going to make sure of it was that nobody else would ever cause the brunette anymore physical pain. 

“I’ll take that as a no then.” Jen mumbled, Judy already halfway to being asleep as her breath came out in even breaths against the crook of her neck. 

Jen heard the quiet mumble of goodnight under Judy’s breath, her own breath hitching when the brunette pressed a lazy kiss against her skin. 

The warmth of Judy’s body paired with the emotional stress of the day had Jen following after Judy, sleep coming easily as she pressed a quick but tender kiss against the younger woman's forehead enjoying the way she subconsciously pressed closer in her sleep. 

Falling asleep feeling completely relaxed for the first time that day, Jen should have known when she was ripped from her sleep a few hours later that the feeling was too good to be true. 

———

@haven_maddi on twitter :))


	4. Chapter 4

Jen couldn’t be too sure what it was that woke her, slowly drifting in and out of sleep as her arm reached out to the opposite side of the bed to find a cold empty spot rather than the warm body she expected. 

The empty spot had the older woman's eyes springing open, struggling to adjust to the darkness, her hands frantically patted down the bed as though Judy was going to suddenly appear out of nowhere. All she could think was Steve, her blood running cold as the visions of his hands tightly gripping her best friend around her throat slammed into the forefront of her mind. 

Scrambling to the edge of the bed Jen turned the bedside lamp on, her fears only being cemented as she looked around the room to find it empty of the brunette's presence that had been there only hours before. 

Jens ears pricked up, the adrenaline heightening her senses as her eyes darted over toward the en-suite. The door was only open slightly, no light on but the blonde could just about make out the sounds of someone sniffling. Judy. 

Rising to her feet, Jen quietly crept toward the bathroom door not sure of what she was going to find. Slowly pushing the door open, light softly flooded the bathroom, the sight that greeted Jen filled her with a split second of relief at finding the brunette but it was quickly replaced with a feeling of complete heartbreak.

The brunette's hand was covering her mouth, her eyes tightly shut as she muffled the sobs that threatened to echo against the bathroom walls. The puffiness around her eyes made it clear that the women had been crying for quite some time, the tear stains evident for Jen to see despite her face being slightly blocked by the brunette's hair being stuck to her face in places by the big fat tears trailing down her face. The women’s shoulders shook violently, the baggy T-shirt around her body making her seem even smaller than usual. Hugging her knees with her spare arm, in the faint light that shone through from the bedroom Jen could make out the deep scratches that littered the women’s knees. 

“Jude?” Jen’s voice was more like a scream than a whisper as it floated across the room, the blonde carefully leaning down on the floor close to Judy, close enough to let the women know she was there but not close enough to make her feel trapped. 

Judy’s eyes flashed open, like a child being caught red handed her hand moved like mad to wipe away the tears that littered her face. Breaths coming out in huge gulps, the younger women tugged her knees closer to herself as if guarding herself. 

“You want to tell me what’s wrong sweetheart? Was it a bad dream?” Jen watched the brunette's face carefully as she quickly shook her head in reply.

Judy’s fingers slid down toward the red irritated skin on her knees, her fingernails continuing from where they had clearly left off beforehand as they picked away at the raw skin. 

Before Jen could stop herself, she reached out to delicately drag the woman's hand away before interlacing their hands together. Softly squeezing the hand enveloped in her own, Jen bent her head down in the hopes of catching the women’s eyes as they avoided meeting her own. Jen took a deep breath, patience was never a virtue she possessed but she would try for the younger women sitting in front of her. 

“I can’t help you unless you tell me what’s wrong Judy.” Jen stroked the back of Judy’s hand, waiting for some kind of response from the women. 

If she hadn't been watching Judy so intently she would have missed the way the brunette's eyes flitted over toward the mobile phone that lay a few feet away from them.

Before Judy could make any attempt to stop her, Jen swiftly picked the phone up, the screen automatically lighting up with notifications. Steve’s name appeared multiple times, phone calls and text messages littering the cracked screen. 

Jen’s eyes zoned in on the multitude of threats and couldn’t hold back the growl that grumbled low in her throat, the anger flooding through her veins as the phone in her hand began to shake. 

“I’m going to kill him.” Jen’s voice was so scarily quiet and low, Judy’s head snapping up at the words as she shook her head vehemently. 

“You don’t know what he’s capable of Jen-“ At Judy’s words she couldn’t help but scoff, screwing her face up at the women who stared at her with wide eyes. 

“I’m fully fucking aware of what he’s capable of Judy! I have fucking eyes in my head and can see the bruises covering half of your fucking body!” Jen’s voice rose with every word, her hands motioning toward the brunette's neck so lost in her own anger. 

It wasn’t until she took a breath that she noticed the way Judy was shaking, the tears glistening in her eyes as her lip quivered. Jen took a deep breath as she pinched the bridge of her nose feeling the headache starting to creep up the back of her head. Anger had always been an issue for Jen, something she had been told multiple times she needed to get some kind of help for and right now she wishes she knew how to stop herself from exploding. 

Flying off the rails was the last thing Judy needed and yet all Jen could think of was going downstairs to get the gun from Ted’s safe, hunting Steve down and putting a bullet in the man. 

Reaching her hand out to touch Judy, she noticed the way the younger woman flinched and felt her heart sink. Anger wasn’t the answer right now. 

“I’m sorry.” Jen clasped her hands together in front of her, nervously shifting from side to side as she watched the brunette brush the bangs from the eyes. 

“It’s okay.” The whispered words were ones that Jen recognised, the automatic response to any apology that was thrown Judy’s way whether it was a meaningful apology or not. 

It wasn’t until now, watching the younger women as she sat against the side of the bathtub, Jen realised how deeply ingrained the abuse was in the women. The way Judy quickly and quietly accepted any wrongdoing rather than challenge someone and tell them how their words or actions had hurt her. 

“It’s not okay, I shouldn’t have taken my anger out on you when you’ve done nothing wrong.” Jen wanted so badly to reach out, to hold the woman's body against hers, to comfort her but the way she had recoiled at her touch before was still on her mind. 

Shuffling on the floor Jen mirrored Judy’s position leaning against the back of the bathtub, getting as close to the brunette as she possibly could without touching her. 

Waiting for some kind of reaction, Jen waited with baited breath as the younger woman moved to rest her head against her shoulder. A rosy, tear stained cheek pressed against her bare shoulder as the woman lifted her arm to wrap around Jen’s waist. 

Jen felt the woman's body shake against her own, not having to see Judys’s face to know she was crying again. Arms instantly rising to pull the women impossibly closer to her body, Jen gently rocked the women from side to side.

“You’re okay, I’m here and I’m not going anywhere Jude. I promise.” Jen couldn’t help the way her voice hitched, her throat closing up with emotion as she felt her own eyes blurring you with tears listening to the way Judy’s cries bounced off the bathroom walls. 

Jen didn’t know how long the two women sat on the floor for, her legs completely numb from the way Judy had more or less crawled into her lap. The women’s breathing had begun to even out a little over five minutes ago, the light snoring telling the older women that she had cried herself to sleep. 

Rubbing at her own eyes, Jen knew she would have to move them through to the bed but she allowed herself a few more minutes with Judy in her arms as her hand traced soothing patterns against the brunette's T-shirt covered back.

———

It wasn’t for another half an hour that Jen finally moved, gently patting the women’s back until light brown eyes gazed back at hers. 

“This can't be good for your back honey.” Jen worried as she carefully helped the women to her feet, not missing the quiet moan of pain that came from the brunette's mouth. The mobile phone was left sitting on the floor, the older women resisting the urge to throw it out the window. 

Jen led the women toward the sink, quickly pouring a glass of fresh water before rummaging through the medicine cabinet for some painkillers. 

Coming to stand behind Judy, Jen rested her hands on the younger woman's hips watching in the mirror in front as she swallowed down the tablets. 

It felt beyond intimate, the way their eyes met through the mirror as Judy bit her bottom lip. Despite the puffy eyes, the bruises littering her face and the ruffled hair Jen was still taken away by how gorgeous the woman was. Judy was more than her looks, she was beautiful inside and out but the women’s good looks never failed to make her heart flutter. 

“I love you.” Smiling softly as she placed a soft kiss on Judy’s cheek, Jen was granted with a beaming smile in return as the younger woman tilted her head back against her shoulder. 

It was the first real smile that had graced Judy’s face since she had woken and it was worth the wait. Standing in the bathroom, the two of them beyond tired as they smiled at each other in the mirror was when Jen realised just how much she meant the words. 

How much the women really meant to her. Judy brought out the best in her, making her want to be a better person, a better mother. She loved her, so much more than a best friend should and the thought didn’t scare her the way she thought it would. If anything it was like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders, the feelings that had been shoved down so far finally coming to surface. 

Jen was _in_ love with her best friend. Her best friend who was currently gazing at her as if she was the eighth wonder of the world. 

“C’mon honey, bedtime again.” Giving Judy one last squeeze, Jen guided the brunette through toward the bedroom, her hand never leaving the women’s hip. 

Helping the women to get back into bed for the second time within hours, Jen’s eyes widened at the alarm clock that told her it was after four o’clock in the morning. 

Tiredly moving around the bed, Jen situated herself back in the bed only having to wait a few seconds before she felt the smaller woman curling back into her side like earlier on. 

“I love you too.” Judy whispered so quietly against her skin, her lips brushing against the sensitive skin of her neck as she spoke the words so tenderly. 

Despite being so tired Jen knew there was no way she was going to sleep properly, not knowing Steve had sent multiple threats to Judy’s phone. A part of her wanting to get up and check all the doors were locked but no doubt Judy would wake up again and that was the last thing she needed when the women looked beyond exhausted. 

Jen reached over to grab her phone from the bedside table, placing it under her pillow within easy reach as she tried not to think too much about the brunette's bare legs brushing against her own especially while the women lay next to her completely unaware of how much of an effect she had on the older women. 

Jen knew there was no way she was going to let Steve anywhere near Judy but she also knew the younger woman never wanted to cause any grief and so allowed herself to be walked all over and manipulated to suit whoever’s agenda. 

Steve was a problem Jen didn’t have a solution for yet but she knew she needed to sort it out as quickly as possible before it turned even more sinister than it already had. The man was capable of anything, Jen was sure he would make good on his threats if given the opportunity and so Jen wasn’t going to give it to him. Not over her dead body would he get anywhere near anyone she loved. 

———

Judy knew there was no point trying to sneak out of bed, throughout the night at the slightest movement Jens eyes would dart open checking to see if the brunette was okay. The way Jen would constantly pull her in tighter, her arms lovingly stroking her back pulling her back to sleep; it was a level of sweetness and care she had never been given before. 

Steve had his moments, a squeeze of the hand here and there and a sweet kiss to her forehead on a rare occasion but nothing could compare to Jens touches. Love was behind each of them. 

Stroking a blonde streak of hair away from Jen’s face, Judy couldn’t resist brushing her lips on the underside of the older woman's jaw. For a second she was afraid she had woken Jen but the women just pulled her in tighter in her sleep pressing a lazy kiss to Judy’s head before going back to snoring lightly. 

The sunlight was pouring in through the curtains, no doubt both Henry and Charlie would be awake soon ready for the day ahead. Well Henry would be, Charlie would love around the kitchen morning about having to go to school. 

All Judy needed to do was think of Jen or the boys and all the worries in the world seemed to melt away. They were her family, everything she ever needed and wanted rolled into one. Steve was threatening that, threatening to ruin the life she had managed to carve out for herself despite causing the blonde so much grief she still wanted her in her life. 

Judy knew what Jen had suggested was necessary, a restraining order was needed but Jen had only seen the half of what Steve was capable of. Judy had gotten off lightly with the bruises he had given her in comparison to the multiple broken bones that had left her bed bound for weeks before. Thoughts of A&E waiting rooms made her cringe, doctors judging looks as she repeatedly told them she didn’t want any police involvement. It was all such a mess but for the sake of her family she was willing to put her life at risk to stop her ex fiancé coming anywhere near Jen or the boys. She didn’t know what she would do if he ever got near Henry or Charlie, it wasn’t something she could ever bear thinking about.

Drawn from her thoughts by the sound of the bedroom door creaking open, Judy peered over the top of the duvet and was met with the sight of a half asleep Henry rubbing the sleep from his eyes. 

“Morning sweetie.” Henry grinned at her as he made his way toward the bed, Judy not having it in her to stop the boy from clambering on waking his mother in the process. 

“Morning Boop.” Jen’s voice was hoarse with sleep as she leant up on her elbow, Judy watching as the blonde's eyes lit up at the sight of her son. 

If there was one thing that Judy had to change about Jen it would be the way she viewed herself as a mother. Time after time the blonde made jokes about her ability as a mother, masking it in a way that didn’t sound serious but she obviously felt it was true. 

Judy watched as Jen tried to tickle the young boy, laughing and joking while still quite clearly tired after the interruption to her sleep last night. How she had handled having to be a single mother m, having both her sons rely on her as she struggled through her grief. The woman was a warrior, a goddess and Judy was going to make the women realise whether she wanted to or not. 

“So I’ve been thinking.. If Judy is up for it how about you and Henry take the day off school and we all go for a picnic on the beach?” Henry’s eyes instantly darted toward Judy, the boy almost shaking with excitement as he waited for her reply. 

Judy felt Jen’s hand rest over the top of her own underneath the duvet, the thumb softly rubbing over her knuckles in a way that had a shiver running through her body. No doubt Jen had no idea the way her touches made Judy feel, constantly wanting to reach out and pull her hands to places no best friend would ever dream of touching. It made her feel dirty, the way her thoughts would stray to Jen when she was laying in bed touching herself. Unable to look the women in the eye the next morning but it didn’t stop it happening over and over again. 

Constantly going toe to toe with the line of keeping things friendly, her hands often lingered on Jen’s thigh as the women drove her to work. Fingers creeping just that little bit higher as she reached over to turn the volume up on the radio, watching as a flustered Jen tried and failed to hide the blush freeing up her neck as she looked straight ahead avoiding eye contact. 

Judy was sure Jen was affected by the lingering touches, if the way her legs subtly squeezed together as Judy left the car everyday was anything to go by but then again the women had admitted she hadn’t been intimate in over a year so anyone’s touch would probably do the same. 

Sometimes the way Jen’s eyes lingered in her body gave her hope, hope that there was mutual attraction but the blonde would quickly avert her eyes before Judy could comment. Unlike Jen who was quick to point out Judy’s wandering eyes that couldn’t help but glance at the slightest bit of bare skin that the blonde would show with her shirt and the rare skirt she wore. The skirts killed Judy. Especially when paired with a gorgeous shirt and blazer that the women paired it with beautifully. 

The things Judy would do to see the women in action at work, then again it would only serve as an embarrassment as she would no doubt be drooling as she watched on in awe at the women’s powerful and dominant aura. 

“Sounds perfect to me.” Clearing her throat, Judy reveled in the way Henry launched himself at her without thought, wrapping his tiny arms around her neck despite Jen shouting at him to be careful. The slight pain was worth it. 

Judy felt the women’s eyes on her as she glanced up to meet them, green piercing eyes swirling with something that the brunette swore was dangerously close to something resembling love. Real, proper, serious love. 

A blink and the look was gone, but Judy had seen it. The hope that had been silently wilting away inside herself suddenly surged, unable to stop it. 

Charlie appeared in the doorway, lingering for a moment before approaching the bed to sit on the edge before Jen dragged him reluctantly to sit beside her on the bed. Making a show of wiping the kiss his mother had placed on his cheek, Charlie sent a sweet smile Judy’s way as if silently asking if she was okay. 

Judy could feel the love, Henry’s mouth running a mile a minute as he told Charlie the plan for the day as the young boy's arm stayed clinging to her waist refusing to move away. Jen was quiet, happy to relax back into the pillow as the two boys teased one another. 

Jen had done more for Judy than she could ever imagine by taking her in and giving her a family, protecting her from Steve. It was Judy’s turn now, Steve needed dealing with and it was up to her to put him in his place. 

Henry gave her a quick kiss on the cheek, doing the same to his mother before he dragged Charlie from the bed no doubt to make his older brother make him some form of breakfast. 

“Don’t burn the kitchen down Char!” Jen pleaded, receiving an eye roll from the teenager in return as he closed the door over behind him leaving the two women alone again. 

“Are you sure about going out today? I should have as-“ Jen was cut off as Judy stretched across to pull the woman into her arms, resting her head in the blondes shoulder. 

“I’m going to phone Perez later, see if I can sort out a restraining order for Steve.” Judy felt the way Jen’s body instantly tensed at the mention of the other man. 

Drawing back slightly, the two women were mere inches away from one another’s faces as Judy pressed a light kiss against the older woman's nose enjoying the way she scrunched her face up in mock disgust pretending to be sick. 

“You love it really Jen.” Judy teased, enjoying the way the blonde's face instantly softened at her words. 

The older woman's hair a complete mess, her bun nearly coming out as Judy reached out to push a stray curl behind the women’s ear, her fingertips grazing the women’s jaw in a way that had her breath hitching. 

“I do, I really do.” Judy dragged the women back against her, afraid if she stared any longer she would make a move to press her lips against the blondes. 

Right now wasn’t the right time but judging by Jen’s stares, Judy had a sneaking suspicion the women wouldn’t push her away. Only pull her closer, the way she did in Judy’s fantasy’s. 

It was building up, the sparks constantly flying between them. Like a moth to a fly, neither women could stay away from each other for too long. It was only a matter of time before she finally snapped and gave into her urges, either Judy was going to make a complete and utter fool of herself or Jen would feel the same way. Only time would tell. 

———

Thank you for the continued kind comments and kudos! Hope you all enjoyed that chapter :))


	5. Chapter 5

Jen had ordered Judy not to move from the bed, the brunette not arguing until the older women returned with some fresh clothes and painkillers but she drew the line when Jen offered to help her get dressed. 

“I can do it myself, I’ll shout for you when I’m done Jen.” Jen reluctantly nodded her head, the blonde rubbing her leg through the duvet before hesitantly leaving Judy to her own devices. 

The second the door closed over the smile on Judy’s face turned to a grimace as she gingerly pulled the covers back, the sight of scratched and inflamed knees greeting her. 

It had always been something she had done, scratching her skin to the point of drawing blood as soon as everything became too overwhelming. It had started when she was a child, her mother using her tears as a way to taunt her and explain away the violence had made her dig her fingers as tightly as possible into her hand to concentrate on anything other than Eleanor’s frightening anger. 

It was unhealthy, harming herself in such a way but it was the way she had learnt to cope with so much pain and destruction going on in her life and she just couldn’t stop. Jen’s reaction the night before didn’t go unnoticed, the way her eyes had swirled with pity and shock at seeing the blood on her knees had made the shake bubble up inside as if she had disappointed the blonde. 

Dragging herself out of her thoughts before Jen came barrelling back up the stairs, Judy felt her stomach drop when she unfolded the clothes to find a pair of shorts. Shorts that would have her knees on show.

Carefully pushing herself up from the bed, Judy maneuvered around as she managed to strip down and put on the clothes, albeit at the speed of a young toddler, that left her feeling completely dejected and embarrassed. 

Sitting down on the edge of the bed, Judy gazed down at her knees as her fingertips reached out to run along the fresh scans of skin, the sensitive skin almost making her flinch at the sensation. 

Whenever she was upset, it was her go to. Steve had been repulsed when his eyes had lingered on the faint white marks that littered her body, often using it to taunt her and put her down at every opportunity he could. 

Judy could remember the first time the teachers at school had noticed the scratches and gouges, question after question about her home life had led to her mother being hauled into the school. Eleanor could be extremely charming when the occasion arose, her manipulative ways explaining away the marks without hesitation while Judy sat in the chair beside her. As her mother held her hand walking out of the meeting, Judy could feel her eyes watering at the bruising grip but knew if she let the tears drop it would only make it worse for herself. 

The next week Judy moved school, the black eye and sprained wrist a firm reminder to keep her mouth shut. 

It wasn’t until she felt a tear drop against the bare skin of her thigh that she noticed the tears coming down her face, her ribs aching as her breathing started to become laboured. A panic attack was the last thing she needed and yet here it was. Trying to breathe in felt as if she was drowning, her vision starting to go as her nails dug into the palm of her hand. Knee bouncing up and down, Judy felt as if she was losing all sense of reality as her heartbeat drummed loudly in her ears. 

The next thing Judy knew, her face was pressed against Jen’s chest as the women held her tightly against her body. Quiet murmurs floated through the air, the blondes hands continually making a soothing path up the length of Judy’s back. 

“I’m- I’m such a mess Jen.” Judy could feel the way Jen sighed against her as her words stumbled out of her mouth through the sobs, the press of the blondes lips against her forehead making her heart clench in ways that she shouldn’t with her best friend. 

“You’re not a mess Jude. You’re hurting and if you need to cry then you cry, there’s no shame in letting your feelings out honey.” Judy couldn’t tell how long the two of them had sat on the bed, Jen’s hand never stopping it’s motions. 

Judy didn’t know where the tears had come from, it frustrated her that she constantly had to be comforted by Jen when it should be the other way around. She had murdered Jen’s husband, Charlie and Henry’s father and the guilt was still eating her up inside. Never mind the extra little problem of her falling in love with the women. It was a complete and utter mess in every possible way. 

Jen’s arms gently slid from around her shoulders to rest her hands on her upper arms, her eyes so soft as the pads of her thumbs brushed away the tears from her face. It was becoming a routine now, the tears followed up by the blonde wiping away her tears with the tenderest of touches. It was a routine that Judy knew they needed to break, soon enough Jen would become sick and tired just like Steve had and the last thing she needed was losing Jen even though she felt like she didn’t deserve the love one bit. 

Jen’s hands moved until they rested on Judy’s legs, her eyes taking in the marks on the women’s knees. Without saying anything, Jen rose from her feet and walked toward the bathroom.

Returning moments later with antiseptic cream in hand, the older women crouched down in front of Judy before uncapping the tube. 

“This might sting a bit sweetie.” Jen’s voice was so soft, her fingers delicately holding the brunette's knee as she rubbed the cream onto the women’s skin. 

The blonde worked in silence, her eyes flicking up every two seconds before she placed the tube to one side, her hands moving up to reach for the brunettes before tugging them forward to place a kiss on the back of both of her hands. 

It was as if something had shifted between them, it was only so slight but the atmosphere feeling so much more intimate. Judy had seen the slight spark of something more in Jen’s eyes before, a blink and it was gone but it was lingering more and more as time went on. A silent conversation between them that only they could understand, a connection unlike she had felt before. 

“Do you still want to go to the beach? We really don’t have to if you’re not up for it, Charlie and Henry will totally understand.” Jen offered, her eyes never straying from Judy’s as she waited for an answer that she already knew was coming.

“I’m fine now, promise. I’ll be better if you let me listen to my playlist in the car on the way to the beach though.” Judy pouted her lip out, her eyes widening in her best attempt at ‘puppy dog’. 

Jen let out an over dramatic sigh as she rolled her eyes knowing that whenever Judy or Henry started with the adorable pouting that she would give in in a heartbeat. 

“Fine but only as long as you skip Go Your Own Way, you know I think it’s fucking overplayed to death. Give me any other Fleetwood song over that shit.” Jen argued as she offered her hand for Judy while she got up to her own feet. 

“You know it’s one of my favourites but seeing as it’s you I suppose I’ll make an exception.” Judy winked at Jen as she stood up, little space between the two women as they smiled softly at one another despite the bickering that always arose when the discussion of Judy’s favourite band came up. 

It wasn’t ever something she had with Steve, the playful teasing back and fore she shared with Jen. The blonde made her feel safe, safe enough to do and say things she had never felt comfortable enough to before. Even something as simple as playing her own music ended up in an argument with Steve, the man preferring to control every aspect of what went on in the house even as far down to what Judy could and couldn’t put on the stereo. 

There was a piece of Judy that absolutely despised herself for the thoughts she had had after her first miscarriage. The feeling of relief that washed over her for a split second made her feel physically sick, the relief for not being a child into a broken and violent ‘family’ like she had grown up in. The feeling was quickly replaced with utter despair and grief but she could never truly forgive herself for being so cruel. It made her feel as if the world was punishing her after with every miscarriage she suffered from. It was a stupid way to think and yet Judy felt like a tiny part of her deserved them. 

How could she be a mother when she couldn’t even provide them with a stable and loving home? She was a weak and sensitive woman who had a multitude of emotional issues. Or so Steve liked to remind her on many occasions. Even the way she dealt with the stress, harming herself and taking panic attacks. Hardly perfect mother material in her eyes. 

“We best get a move on then, Henry kept badgering me to come upstairs and get you.” Jen joked, her arm moving to rest around Judy’s waist as she guided the younger women toward the bedroom door, constantly making sure Judy was comfortable as they went. 

Judy knew if she was by herself there was no way she would leave her bed all day, preferring to sit in silence whilst Steve and her mother’s cruel words rooted deeper into her mind. 

But today was different, today she would spend the day trying to ignore all the memories and words that wanted so desperately to ruin her. Today Judy was going to clear her mind. 

———

Walking down toward the beach, Charlie had Henry on his back as he lugged the ice cooler full of food and drinks while Jen and Judy trailed behind. 

“Earlier on.. Steve didn’t send you more texts did he?” Jen questioned, her hand reaching up to wrap around Judy’s shoulder enjoying the bare skin under her hands as she played with the stray wisps of hair at the nape of the brunette's neck. 

The bruising was starting to change colour ever so slightly, in the bright California sunlight it cast a spotlight on the marks that Judy had tried her best to cover with her hair down but it didn’t quite do the job despite her best efforts. 

Jen was starting to regret even mentioning a day at the beach, it had seemed like a great idea at the time but looking at the women now she realised it wouldn’t matter to Judy what kind of state she was in, she would agree to make everyone else happy. 

The start of the car ride had started off with the brunette happily singing along to every song that came on even getting Henry to join in but nearer the end of the drive she had seemed to get lost in her own thoughts, a lost look settling across her face as she gazed out the window. 

Jen wasn’t sure if the younger woman was even listening to her as her eyes stayed firmly on Henry and Charlie watching as they set up camp in the shade. The sand was hot beneath her feet, glad she had a bathing suit on underneath her own shorts and T-shirt. The beach wasn’t overly crowded, not that Jen expected it to be on a Tuesday in the middle of the day when school was still on. It was nice, a slight breeze in the air but definitely warm enough to paddle in the water. 

“I haven’t looked at my phone since last night.” Jen’s eyes flicked up to gaze at Judy, the brunette avoiding eye contact as she bit her lip which was a sure sign to the older women she had more to say but was holding back. 

Making a point to slow them down, Jen moved her hand to rest against the younger woman's waist pushing it just that little bit more as her thumb slid underneath Judy’s top to brush at the skin on her hip above the waistband of her shorts. It was as if she was unable to resist touching the women in any possible way, enjoying the way the brunette's skin seemed to jump underneath her touch. It was exhilarating and the more Judy reacted, the more she wanted to push it further. 

The tension in Judy’s body seemed to melt away as she took a deep breath, her eyes meeting Jen’s as the blonde smiled encouragingly at her.

“It was my knees, whenever I see the marks on them it makes me think of my Mum. I shouldn’t get so upset, it’s not as if she’s around anymore but I can still hear the things she used to say like it was yesterday.” Jen’s hands reached up, gently cupping Judy’s face between her own hands before the younger women attempted to look away and brush away her admission as if it didn’t deserve any kind of acknowledgement. 

“You’re beautiful Judy. I can safely say I have never met anyone who is as perfect as you, you’re so fucking perfect it’s sickening at times but I wouldn’t have you any other way. That bitch of a woman didn’t ever deserve you as a daughter, the only thing she ever did right was bring you into this world so please Judy, just remember me and the boys think you’re amazing.” Stroking the younger woman's cheek, Jen didn’t hold herself back as she leant forward to press her lips to the corner of Judy’s. 

The blonde's eyes fluttered shut when her lips met soft skin, the sound of her heartbeat thrummed so loudly she could swear Judy would be able to hear it. 

Drawing back, Jen opened her eyes slowly and was met with the sight of Judy smiling wider than she had ever seen. The brunette was glowing, the lines around her eyes crinkling as she subconsciously reached up to rub against the spot that Jen’s lips had occupied a moment before. 

People were walking past them, the two women in a world of their own not caring that they were standing in the middle of the semi busy walkway. Jen couldn’t stop her eyes from flicking down to Judy’s lips, the only thing stopping her from leaning forward was the tiny sliver of self control that held her back from the possibility of being rejected in public and more so her sons who were no more than 20 metres away. 

“Mum! Judy!” Henry’s voice boomed across the beach, breaking the moment between the two women. 

Jen and Judy glanced over to find the young boy jumping up and down impatiently as he waved them over, Charlie sitting on a beach lounger already rummaging through the food selection Jen had prepared. 

“We best get over there before Charlie strangles Hen.” For once Judy seemed reluctant to move as soon as Henry demanded her attention, the women’s hands fidgeting as though wanting to reach out to grab her. 

Jen let out a quiet murmur of agreement, neither women actually making a move to start walking until Henry’s impatient shouts came again. The blonde didn’t miss the disappointment on Judy’s face, the way the younger women’s eyes seemed to have that extra little spark in them when Jen pulled back from the near kiss. 

It felt natural, more natural with Judy than it had ever felt with anyone else. The tactile touching, the constant reassurance and soft side she didn’t show to anyone else other than her two sons. Judy was special in every meaning of the word, the women might think she was a mess but she didn’t realise just how much she helped Jen everyday. 

The anger and frustration that had been building up more and more over the years seemed to fade away at every smile that Judy sent her way or every little touch of the hand the women offered. The brunette might think she was a mess but she was Jen’s mess, a kind and caring woman who showed her the meaning of love and kindness. 

The more she thought about it, the more she came to realise how much of a disaster her life had been between Ted dying and Judy coming into her life, into her children’s lives. The women was quite literally a lifesaver and now she was going to repay the women in every possible way she could and if that meant being completely sappy and telling the women how much she meant to her then so fucking be it. 

———

Judy had insisted Jen join Henry and Charlie down by the water, the brunette not taking no for an answer as she more or less kicked the blonde from the edge of the sun lounger she had been resting on for the past hour. The blonde had reluctantly agreed, after making sure that Judy was topped up with painkillers and water she had begun to wriggle out of her shorts.

Jen noticed out of the corner of her eye the way Judy was pretending not to watch as she flicked through one of the blondes trashy magazines, the slight blush on her neck telling Jen everything she needed to know. Making a show of taking her T-shirt off, the blonde threw it in Judy's direction before putting an extra swing in her hips as she sauntered down toward the water. 

Feeling the woman's eyes burning into her back, Jen glanced over her shoulder with the toothiest of grins on her face waving her fingers in the most flirtatious way possible. It was worth it just for the way Judy flicked her the middle finger in a rare show of annoyance. Jen couldn’t remember the last time she had felt so confident about her body, Judy had showered her with compliments before but the way the brunette's eyes had roamed so obviously over her body had her heart racing in the best possible way. 

Henry had cheered as his mother came running down the beach, shoving Charlie into the water resulting in a half hearted glare being sent her way. For half an hour, Jen had paddled around in the water with Henry occasionally jumping on her back, the blonde's eyes flicking over toward Judy every couple of minutes to make sure she was still there. 

It wasn’t until she noticed Charlie’s eyes looking curiously over her shoulders while she attempted to help Henry make a sandcastle without a bucket that she followed his line of sight.

Judy was still in the exact spot she had been two minutes ago when Jen had glanced over, sitting in the sun lounger but the woman who was currently standing way too close to the brunette for Jens liking was a new addition; an unwelcome one at that. 

“I’ll be back in a minute guys, just gonna go check Judy’s okay.” Sending a warning look toward Charlie at the sarcastic snort he let out, Jen leapt up from the wet sand and made a beeline toward Judy and the random stranger. 

Jen felt the jealousy bubbling up inside as she watched the women rest her hand on Judy’s forearm before reaching up to touch the necklace resting around her best friend's neck. 

The brunette didn’t notice Jen until she was a few feet away, her eyes lighting up as she automatically turned her body away from the strangers touch. 

“Hey babe, everything okay?” Taking a seat on the edge of the chair Judy was currently occupying, Jen wrapped her arm around the brunette's shoulders before tugging her closer to place a kiss on her cheek, completely ignoring the other women who stood awkwardly staring between them.

“I was just talking to.. Michelle wasn’t it? Sorry I’m so bad with names.” Just chuckled softly, subconsciously leaning into Jen as the blonde rested her hand possessively on the brunettes thigh. 

Jen smiled sweetly at Michelle, holding her hand out for the women to take while her other hand stayed firmly on Judy’s leg. Jen had never really been a jealous person, always pretty self assured in her relationships with people but there was something about the way Michelle was looking at Judy. 

Finding out about Ted’s affair had been a serious blow, feeling deflated and unworthy but then there had been Judy. The brunette constantly told her she was ‘heaven on a stick’, at first she just scoffed and brushed it off but over time she had come to realise that Judy wasn’t just saying it to make her feel better, the brunette genuinely meant it. Whenever they went out Judy would always end up being flirted with at the bar but she was quick to laugh it off and turn her attention back to Jen but right now the blonde couldn’t help but feel threatened despite the way Judy was leaning into her. 

“Nice to meet you, I’m Jen.” The blonde could feel the woman squeezing her hand with just a little more grip than was necessary, a tight smile appearing in Michelle’s face before smiling softly at Judy. 

Jen could tell Henry and Charlie were headed their way without even having to turn around, the sound of her younger son whining about wanting a drink reaching her ears. 

Judy obviously heard Henry as she went to lean over toward the ice cooler, Jen’s hand stopping her as she grabbed it herself. 

“I had best leave you to it, I’ll definitely text you about that jewellery shop though.” Judy nodded her head enthusiastically as Michelle reached out to squeeze the brunette's arm, Jen trying her hardest not to glare at the women as she made a point of completely ignoring Jen. 

Henry and Charlie watched from the side, the older of the two raising his eyebrows at his mother’s standoffish attitude while Henry reached out to grab the bottle of water from Judy’s hand. 

“Who was that?” Henry asked innocently as he watched Judy wave at Michelle as the women made her way further down the beach toward another group of people.

“Judy’s girlfriend.” Charlie teased as he ruffled Henry’s hair before dragging the towel from his mother’s shoulders to sit down on the sand beside Judy’s chair. 

If looks could kill, Charlie would be six foot under as Jen sent an icy glare in his direction. Henry’s eyes widened as he stared at Judy as if waiting for some kind of confirmation but all he got was a laugh from the brunette. 

“Michelle came over to say hello Hen, that’s all. Charlie’s just joking around.” Judy explained, accepting the sandwich from Jen as the blonde handed out lunch to everyone. 

Seeming to accept the answer he received, Henry took his usual spot beside Judy leaving Jen to sit down next to Charlie who still seemed to be enjoying winding Jen up as he chuckled away to himself as he glanced between her and Judy. 

“What if you get a girlfriend Judy? You wouldn’t move out would you?” Henry’s question had everyone stopping in their tracks, a silence settling over everyone as they waited for the brunette's response. 

It took a moment, Judy clearing her throat before she pulled Henry tighter to her placing a kiss against his forehead. 

“So long as you all want me I don’t plan on going anywhere. We’re a family, right? Families stick together.” Jen didn’t miss the sigh of relief that came from beside her, Charlie quickly clearing his throat before going back to eating his lunch but Jen knew he had wanted that answer as much as both she and Henry had. 

“Good cause you know Mum would be a complete mess without you.” Henry explained, a bashful smile crossing Jen’s face as she shrugged her shoulders in response not even bothering to refute her youngest son's response when she knew it was true. Even Charlie murmured a quiet ‘so true’ under his breath. 

Jen was going to do everything in her powers to make sure they stuck together, nobody was going to come between her and her family. Including Michelle. The women seemed sweet enough, despite her frosty looks that she couldn’t deny she had returned, but Judy was hers. Charlie seemed to be able to see straight through her, taking every opportunity to tease her but deep down Jen knew he meant well. 

The time for wooing Judy had arrived, a plan already formulating in her head as she looked on at Judy throwing her head back in laughter at something Charlie had said. 

For right now Jen wanted to enjoy relaxing on the beach with her favourite people in the entire world. Everything else could wait.

———

Thanks again for all the comments and kudos! They keep me going so thank you😇 Hope this chapter wasn’t too boring!


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